Return Dictionary From A Function

im trying to create a function that accepts a sql statement as a parameter,
makes a db connection, returns a recordset, and inserts all items from the
recordset into a data dictionary - then i want to set the value of my
function equal to my newly created dictionary of items from the recordset -
this is where im having a problem. is it possible to set a function equal
to a dictionary? i cant seem to make this work and it seems that this
should be possible.

here is some sample code: