Top 10 Ways To Not Get An Answer

I've been here for two months and answered over 400 questions. I'm seeing a pattern here, and I have decided to post the best ways to make sure you are never answered.

10) Blood, sweat, and tears are for losers. Spend no time figuring things out on your own.

9) Announce almost ceremoniously that you have no VBA experience.

8) Fail to use the search functions of this forum.

7) Try to put every example you're given into a macro.

6) Believe that this is the only source for answers, because Access Help provides nothing. Nothing, I tell you!

5) Have us write your homework for you and then complain when you don't understand it.

4) Post in German.

3) Have a belief that your particular problem is the most important issue ever, and post in every sub-forum possible. Then bump it.

2) Be vague, and then be belligerent.

1) Have no appreciation for the people that are answering your questions in the first place.

I know this sounds cold and mean and otherwise uncaring, but we are here to answer questions, not give you fish, as it were. This is a place to say, "I've done most of the work, but I need help over this hump," not "I have this crazy project/idea and I want you to write it for me."

I've written over a dozen example DBs for people, and I know that I know what I'm doing. But, myself along with perhaps the majority of others that answer the majority of the questions, I'm asking on their behalf to please take the time to figure some of this out. If you can't do VBA, you are using 25% maybe of Access. If you can't understand your own DB, then asking us to fix it is a solution, but not a learning opportunity for you. If you can't understand what I'm getting at, it's that so many posts are the same.

Again, I'm not trying to be an ass, but if you want to be a decent Access programmer and a programmer in general, then please, take the time to learn it. There are plenty of books (look at the bottom of this forum) and there are plenty of resources. I don't think any of us are teachers by trade, but the best teacher for something like programming is always trial and error.

Programming is a language, a passion, a "something you figure out" if you will. If you're spoon-fed the entire time, you don't learn.

I will continue to answer as I always do and I apologize if anyone was offended, but jeez, make sure you've tried everything offline before asking for help. And don't forget to search first, both here and Google.

Sorry for the long read. :)