T-SQL (SS2K8) :: Determine Which Pattern Comes First In A String

DelimitedSplit8k and PatternSplitLoop seem to have potential, but I'm just plain stuck on some things:

1. DelimitedSplit8k: the delimiter split the folder paths, but the pattern can be within the strings that result.
2. PatternSplitLoop: I would have to cross apply 16 times and have an awful WHERE clause to determine which of the four strings matched first.

Unless I'm missing something. Short example is below.

WITH testctes (string, pattern) AS (
SELECT 'oh_look_at_this.thing.hishers_stuffmine.craftyours_protein', 'his first' UNION ALL
SELECT 'i.am.a._thing.hershis_thingsmine.refrigeratoryours_potato', 'hers first' UNION ALL
SELECT 'path_like.things_minehers.some_elsehis_garbageyours_sneakers', 'mine first' UNION ALL
SELECT 'more_stuff.yoursminehershis_falafel', 'yours first'
)
SELECT string, pattern, ca.item, ca.itemnumber
FROM testctes
CROSS APPLY [dbo].[PatternSplitLoop] (string, '%his%') ca